Friday, February 17, 2012

Life before computers

Last week, my laptop died somewhat unexpectedly and quite dramatically since I'd only just managed to print out the first draft of a paper I had to submit for my university studies when it went grey, then black and then dead. Life looked pretty bleak as I pondered on what I'd lost (including the paper I'd written) and cursed myself for the fact that, as always, I hadn't done a recent backup...not for months, in fact. Anyway, in the midst of wallowing in my gloom and doom, Mo read me this poem. I suppose it's public domain, so I hope I'm not infringing someone's copyright, but acknowledgements aplenty to whoever wrote it in the first place. It gave me the first smile I'd had in days.

A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean...
And ram was the cousin of a goat.....

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2" floppy
You hoped nobody found out

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead! 


Dale said...

Lol, Val!
That is fabulous!
It gave me a laugh on a rather stressed-out day, too.

I still can't wait to get a computer of my own!

Thinking of you lots and I hope all is well on your watery ways.


Anne-Marie said...

That is brilliant! Thanks for the smile, and I hope you got the doctor to bring your files back from the dead.


June's World said...

funny stuff. the poem.
Oh, how I feel your pain of a laptop crash, as mine did xmas day. the same scenario, blue black cursor flashing frozen ether. :( head bows in heavy sigh.
It is odd though, your title "life without computers" for when mine had the mini crash, I felt this scary disconnetion, like a phone disconnected. Oh what to do now.
I sort of long for the days without computer. honestley, it was ITA that got me hooked up with this whole computer world. thankful for the friends it created, but had no clue of it all before hand. rambling on here Val....xx x

Fran said...

That's fabulous. Shame about your computer and losing all your stuff. I hope it didn't take you too long to redo it :( xxx

VallyP said...

Dale, I'm glad you laughed too, and you too Anne Marie and Fran. I haven't got my disk back yet, but I've pinched an old one of Koos' and put it in mine for the time being.

Grace, the poem also reminds me of happy long gone days when computers were not part of life. The radio was my contact with other worlds in those days. However, I also love the fact I've made so many wonderful friends this way. On that subject, Grace, I've lost my link to your blog. It sat in my old disk's favourites and now I don't know where to find it. Could you email me the link dear?

Invader_Stu said...

Great poem :) I can't really remember life with out a computer but I can remember when computers were not easy to use.

Sorry to hear about your laptop loss. Are you not able to get stuff back from the hard drive in another laptop maybe?

Anne / Olly said...

Hee, hee! Off to use the 'commode' - better safe.......xx

grace said...

I loved at one time in my life, just having radio, AM at the time, would replay "The Shadow".
I will send you a link.

A Heron's View said...

Now that was truly very humourous!

VallyP said...

Thank you to all. I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did. Brilliant isn't it?

And Anne. I had to explain commode to Koos. In NL a commode is what you change your baby's nappy on and keep the baby stuff suppose that could get backed up too now I come to think of it :)

Grace, I'll look forward to that! Are you back on your old blog again?

June's World said...

bLogs up and running, did u get my email?
R U with Computer Val?

Hans said...

Oh crap...
Computers are a big pain in the bum.
Last weekend Ians' PC went BSOD twice and I'm now trying to figure out what happened.
It seems that it is one of the hard disk drives giving up.

It is nice to see that you anyway still can keep a humourous approach despite the circumstances :)
The word "commode" (here spellt as "kommod" in my local dialect) has the same meaning here as it has to Koos!


VallyP said...

Thanks for the sympathy, Hans!